Revisions and study time

Struggling with the revisions to the beginning of PLS. It seems to be difficult like the first fifty pages of TKQ were. Tying the two books together so that I'm not losing the readers seems to be what's throwing me off. I just want to plunge ahead as if there wasn't any space between them, but the reader needs some background reminders in there and that entails some revision work. I've had a lot of critters on chapter one and the suggestions varied a lot. I went with the ones that spoke to me as being right and posted part one for the chapter on Novel Crit. Hopefully I'll get a few crits that will let me know if I did it right or not. It sounds good to me, but I'm awfully close to the subject and feel I need an outside look.

I'm going to study a book on novel writing and then